Hey Hairy Assholes,
Last week I had a Skype meeting with Mark, a financial advisor who lives in Chicago. I met Mark about a month ago on one of the seven hundred online dating/hook-ups website I frequently visit.
On his online profile, Mark wrote that he had a very weird fetish, something to do with shit. I obviously got very interested in him right away and started to ask him questions. I started with the regular questions, you know: penis size, how many fingers he puts up his ass when he is masturbating and if he has ever used veggies instead of fingers.
And after a few messages here and there I asked Mark to tell me about his unusual fetish. He said that he has seen my Tumblr before and said that he would only tell me his story if I agreed to post it online. He convinced me – we believe that his story will inspire others to try Mark’s fetish too.
Voila:
FJ: So explain to me Mark what exactly is this mysterious fetish of yours.
Mark: Basically, I like to fuck myself with my own shit. I like to know that I am using something that my body produced as waste to actually give myself pleasure, and I really enjoy the smell.
FJ: But how can you fuck yourself with your own piece of shit?
Mark: This is how it works: I shit in a condom. I usually do it on top of a bucket; so in case it falls out of the condom I can put it back in with a spoon. Once the condom is filled up with shit I put it in my freezer.
FJ: Oh, so you fuck yourself with a condom filled up with shit? Is that how it works?
Mark: No. That’d be lame; I would basically be feeling the rubber inside me, not the shit. Instead, once it is frozen, I will remove the condom and grab the frozen piece shit and then use it as a dildo. So basically I have a piece of shit that is in the perfect shape of a condom.
FJ: That makes more sense! But how long can it actually be frozen before it starts to melt and fall apart? I am saying that because our inside body is pretty warm so that might make the ‘shit-dildo’ melt easily?
Mark: Well, it usually stays pretty hard for about 5 – 8 minutes.
FJ: Do you just throw it away after that then?
Mark: No! That is when it gets even hotter. I really enjoy when the piece of shit starts to melt in my hands. Sometimes it breaks in the middle and half of it is inside me and half is in my hands. I play around with it for usually 30 minutes until there are no more solids to be held.
FJ: Woah! How often do you do that?
Mark: Well, I am married, and I don’t think I will ever be able to share this with my wife. So, I cannot do it that often. I wish I could say once a day, but for now it is just once a week.
FJ: Have you and your wife ever spoken about each other’s fetish?
Mark: Yes. I feel like we are way more open about these things than most of my friends. But, I don’t think she would understand why this gives me so much pleasure. You are actually the first person I am talking about it so openly!
FJ: Now I feel special! How did you discover this fetish? Did you read about it somewhere?
Mark: I started playing around with regular dildos. I have also always enjoyed ‘dirty’ things. I have peed on woman and have gotten peed on before. There were times I would just shit in a bucket and jerk off next to it smelling my own shit. That really turned me on! So I thought I could try to use my own shit to give myself pleasure. You know, it all came naturally.
FJ: What do you think will come next?
Mark: I don’t know; I am pretty satisfied right now. I might experiment something else in the future, but for now I am happy with my brown dildos.
FJ: Edgy! Well, thank you so much for sharing your story with my hairy asshole readers and me! Just make sure you keep your condoms hidden! You don’t want to end up having your wife cooking one of your condoms thinking it is some sorta all-beef sausage… Or maybe you do?
fj.
